Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.   Psalm 19:14

 

I am going to share with you a thought I have about thanks and how thanks giving will impact the future of Ascension Lutheran Church.

First, I have a theory.  It is a theory about ‘burn-out.’

‘Burn-out’ is a word we use to describe someone who seems physically or emotionally exhausted.   We think someone is ‘burned-out’ who does not have the usual enthusiasm for life or for the activities that once energized him or her.  It happens to us when ----- what we are doing ----- no longer seems joyful or fulfilling.  I used to think that ‘burn-out’ happens when we got tired and bored.

I don’t think so anymore.  My theory is that we get ‘burned-out’ from a lack of feeling needed and appreciated.  ‘Burn-out’ happens when one feels unwanted.  It does not happen just from being overworked.  Certainly the psychological reasons for ‘burn-out’ are complex, but feeling unneeded and unappreciated has to be a part of it.

For example, a mother may be exhausted at the end of the day, but she will stay awake all night nursing her sick child.  You cannot be ‘burned-out’ when you are feeling needed or when you feel that what you are doing is important.

On the other hand, it is easy not to do something when there is no response for what you are doing.  It is that feeling you get when you get no response after sending a letter or a gift.  What happened?  Is the person out of town?  Don’t they like the gift or don’t they like to write or call?  There is no way of knowing.  So I feel that it is better not to write for awhile or not to send another gift. 

Like in the Chinese proverb:

"Fool me once
Shame on you
Fool me twice
Shame on me."

Getting no response is the cause of the everyday form of ‘burn-out.’

We see ‘burn-out’ in all aspects of our lives.  We see it in business, at school, at home, in government and even in our churches.  Notice how we explain the behavior of people who do not go to church, or who become inactive members or who leave a congregation.  We say they are -- just ‘burned-out.’   But if people really felt needed and appreciated, they would get involved and stay involved in a church congregation.  If the members of a congregation showed each other that everyone is needed and appreciated, there might not be such thing as ‘burn-out’ in our churches.

It is a basic human characteristic to need to feel needed, appreciated, approved, loved and touched.  Withholding recognition is a form of cruelty/torture.  It is only natural to avoid places and situations where we are not recognized or wanted.

There were two items in the news recently that underline the critical importance of personal recognition in our society today.  The first is a story about the violin virtuoso, Joshua Bell, that illustrates what happens when people withhold recognition.  The second is a Wall Street Journal article about how personal recognition has become a major problem in business today.

First, on the morning of Friday, January 12^th of this year, The Washington Post asked 39 year old Joshua Bell, one of the finest classical musicians in the world, to play on his $3.5 million Stradivarius violin outside the L’Enfant Plaza Metro station in Washington, DC during rush hour.  He wore jeans, a long sleeved T-shirt and a Washington Nationals baseball cap. 

In the next 43 minutes, 1,097 people passed by as the violinist performed six classical pieces.  Twenty-seven gave money, for a total of $32 and change.  Later Bell commented while viewing the videos of the event, “It was a strange feeling, that people were actually, ah… ignoring me.”

The Washington Post arranged the performance as an experiment in context, perception, and priorities.  They and Bell drew many conclusions from the experiment.  The one I like is that one never really gets to know another person unless you stop and listen.

Then there is the problem of ‘burn-out’ in today’s society.  In my generation, if you did well, no one said anything.  You might hear about it, if you did something wrong.  So, if you did not hear anything, you knew you were doing OK.  I still needed to know when I was doing my job right.  So I developed my own job criteria and told myself I was OK when I thought I did things well.  I needed stroking.  I was the only one at work that would give me consistent feed-back.

I was not a member of the “Greatest Generation.”  They are about five to ten years older than I.  The Baby Boomers are the children of the “Greatest Generation.”  Baby Boomers are now in their sixties and wish they had enough money to retire.  I learned recently that the children of the Baby Boomers are called the “new ‘greatest’ generation.” 

Why? I asked.  About all I know about the 30’s and 40’s generation is that they get married at a later age and they like their iPods and their music.

Well it seems that their parents, the Baby Boomers, told them they are really special.  Their childhood has been defined by parents who saw their job as building self-esteem, by soccer coaches who gave every player a trophy, by schools that used to name a “student of the month.”

Now, as this new ‘greatest’ generation grows up, the culture of praise is reaching deeply into the adult world.  Bosses, professors, husbands and wives are feeling the need to lavish praise on these young adults – the 20- 30- and 40-somethings.  According to The Wall Street Journal, young people in today’s workplace require constant praise.  After all, people have been telling them that they are special since nursery school.

Employers are dishing out kudos to workers for little more than showing up.  Corporations are hiring consultants to teach managers how to compliment employees using e-mail, prize packages, and public displays of appreciation.  The 1,000-employee The Scooter Store Inc., a power-wheelchair and scooter firm in New Braunfels, Texas, has a staff "celebrations assistant" whose job it is to throw 25 pounds of confetti- a week-at employees.  She also passes out 100 to 500 celebratory helium balloons a week. The Container Store Inc. estimates that one of its 4,000 employees receives praise every 20 seconds, through such efforts as its "Celebration Voice Mailboxes."  

Certainly, there are benefits to building confidence and showing attention.  But some researchers suggest that inappropriate kudos are turning too many adults into narcissistic praise junkies.  The upshot: A lot of today's young adults feel insecure if they're not regularly complimented.

These days, it's an insult unless you describe a pretty girl as "drop-dead gorgeous" or a smart person as "a genius."  And no one wants to be told they live in a nice house.  'Nice' was once sufficient.  That was a good word.  Now it's a put-down.

Boy, do I have a generation gap problem!

Of course there is a danger in labeling everyone in a group.  There are always individual exceptions.  If you are 20-, 30-, or 40-something you probably consider yourself an exception to these stereotypes.

Think about it.   We have seen young people join our Ascension family full of enthusiasm only to stop coming to church after a while.   Are we a victim of this generation gap problem?   Do we not understand that our young members –in this new ‘greatest’ generation -- have different spiritual and emotional needs?  Would these young people still be worshipping with us if we had given them more recognition?

Should the church take young people’s need for recognition as seriously as business has?  Perhaps church membership would not be declining if the church gave these young people more recognition  Young people certainly need to feel needed and recognized just as we do ---- apparently more so.  I wonder if the few churches with growing memberships are making their young members feel special.  Shouldn’t we?

Everyone here this morning can feel special.  You are in no danger of ‘burn-out’ this summer because you are needed!  You are needed during our congregation’s sabbatical.  You are needed at Sunday worship, to help maintain membership, to keep our ministries going and to keep Ascension financially OK by the time pastor returns. 

Pastor Brian is certainly needed and appreciated..  I hope he knows that my wife and I appreciate what he has done for us.

I appreciate everyone here this morning.  Thank you for worshipping and sharing communion with me today.  Thank you for giving your time, talents and treasures to help keep the worship and ministries at Ascension alive through the sabbatical. 

Thanks too to all fathers who love and care for their children -- especially our Father in Heaven.  Thanks to God for giving my wife and I a daughter and three sons to love and to cherish.

Thank God for giving us the gift of life -- especially to Scott Johnson and Grant Sandman who celebrate their birthdays today.

Now, about my thought on ‘Thanks.’  I think that gratitude is an essential part of a Christian life.  Giving thanks is an act of Christian love.  I believe that a spirit of thanks giving will keep the Holy Spirit alive at Ascension Lutheran Church. 

Thanks be to God!      Amen

 

Tom Clark

Ascension Lutheran Church